When Did You Last Feel Truly Supported?
In 2017, I underwent major hip surgery while I was working full-time and carrying the burden of being a solo, single parent to a 4 year old little boy. It was just me and that little man fighting our way through life and re-building our own little world. At the time, I didn’t have a support system, or at least I didn’t think I had one because it wasn’t the traditional model. I didn’t have immediate family to support me, or a significant other.
I had found great success in life independently doing things, not seeking support, working hard and hustling and grinding through every challenge.
Even more importantly, the story I told myself was that I couldn’t rely on anyone because they would either 1) fail to show up and not do what they said, 2) I would be a burden on them, or 3) they would abandon me.
You see, I had seen this theme at many points of my life and this belief was ingrained in the “story” I told myself. I will never forget the moment that my therapist told me that I had no choice but to give someone the opportunity to change this story and to allow someone to show up for me. I wanted to scream and slap her, but she simply told me that I could barely walk at this point, I had to have the surgery and I needed to make a list of people who I thought would be willing to help me. She said,
“Let them show up for you and show you that not everyone will abandon you.”
Turns out, she was right. I made a list of people, I asked for help in specific ways like she suggested, and every single person showed up for me.
My sister-in-law flew in to help with my son for two weeks. My uncle’s neighbor took care of me in the hospital and around the clock in the hotel for the first week and my uncle got me on a plane back home.
While I was non-weight bearing for 6 weeks and couldn’t drive, my neighbor came over during the day to help me reach cords and cables and even find whatever was rotting in my fridge, and checked on me morning and night.
A college friend with two young boys showed up every single day and even made me a special crutch with a basket attached to it. My other neighbor, a retired nurse, happily drove me to my PT appointments 3 days a week where I was re-learning to walk.
Another friend picked up my groceries and ran errands for me. Multiple moms I didn’t know at my son’s preschool took Dominic to school and brought him home each day. And then another friend drove me to and from work, an hour round trip, for 3 weeks straight - every, single day.
These people changed my story. They changed my belief and the pattern that was ingrained in me. They showed up for me in ways I never would have imagined requesting.
You see, I had a tribe.
It wasn’t the kind of traditional tribe I had imagined, but a more dynamic and beautiful one filled with people who cared for me and my son. All I had to do was ask, specifically, for what I needed and they showed up for me and supported me.
Prior to this shift, I was relying on my old story, on my fears, and they were guiding me through life. This shift in perspective transformed my life because now I believe so strongly that beauty and magic lies in asking for and receiving support, and this is why I now do the work that I do. This is why I am so passionate about sharing my strategies to help you accept support.
When was the last time you truly felt supported in any area of your life or your business?
I encourage you to dive deep into that feeling and think about what it would look like if you found that same feeling of support in your business. What would shift in your story if you learned how to be supported?
